Expecting or Wondering

"For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the evidence of the Scriptures we might have hope." Romans 15:4 "...And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Romans 5:5 To me, the book of Romans is such an encouraging book for the Christian. Paul is ever so fearlessly trying to tell us how rewarding it will be if we will place our hope and faith in Christ. I think my favorite chapter in Romans is chapter 5. Here, hope is the focus. By definition, hope means, 'a desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.' I believe that many people, including myself, rarely look at God as a God of fulfillment and expectation. I think we look at him as a God of perhaps and maybe. I can remember being alone in my bedroom the night after I came home from the hospital in 2006. I had just been told I had this terrible disease and I noticed that not one of my doctors seemed really confident as to how they would treat me. I had so many questions and there were so few answers. I remember telling God that I hoped he would take care of me...I hoped he would let me live to carry out this ministry...I hoped I would live to see Canaan grow up...I hope...I hope. God spoke to me that night through Romans chapter 5. God showed me that my hope needed to be in what had already taken place at Calvary. I realized that instead of believing and expecting God to fulfill his promises to me, I was really wondering if he would or not. That is not hope. That is doubt. We say that we have prayed and ask God for something to be taken care of for us, yet we act like we have just rolled dice and there is a chance he will not come through. There is only one reason for this lack of expectation...not knowing who God really is. I believe that if we really took time to get to know God, we would find our anxiety and fears would diminish. We would find a peace that we didn't know existed. We would not be as quick tempered and ill at our spouses or children when a bill came that we didn't see coming. Do we really expect God to come through? Do we really expect God to do the things he says he will do? I feel that I am at a place in my life that if I don't believe God, I will not live. I have to expect that what the Scriptures say are true. I have begun to read more and try to find out who God says that He is. I hear alot of people talking about the Bible, even quoting scripture. But do we really believe what we read? Do we have this hope? God's word tells us that we will not be disappointed in hoping. That's enough for me . I want to have that hope. I want to anticipate and be excited to see God do these things He says He will do in my life. I don't want to just wonder. The only way I can have this hope is to know Him better. Are you at a point in your life where you feel disappointed? Well, good news...you don't have to be. Love, Corrie My prayer for today: Lord, how much time I have wasted worrying and wondering. I want to have true hope in you. I will expect and be excited about the prayers and requests I have made. I will turn my fear and anxiety into excitement as I wait on you.